The difficulty of truth AND peace

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Yes. Truth AND peace (or unity, or love). It’s hard to find them together. Sometimes we don’t like to hear the truth, and it turns us off from the persons bearing it. Contrariwise, we think that there is no way to be united with people who hold “different truths”, not seeing that our truths may hold something in common…something we need to discover for our time.

There are many reasons why it is so hard for us to get along with each other. Ultimately, I think it comes down to the idea that there is always a part of us that wants things our way. Can we make a place within ourselves that gives room for the alternative, which is not our way?

I learned, a long time ago, about a tool for building empathy (capacity for being sensitive to how someone feels without responding with emotions of how you think they feel) which was first developed by a group of Japanese schoolchildren: the pillow method. It gets its name from the fact that a problem has four sides and a center, just like a pillow. The different “sides” of the pillow, which can also be considered as steps, are described as follows:

1–I’m right and you’re wrong 2–You’re right and I’m wrong 3–We’re both right, both wrong 4–This issue isn’t as important as it seems 5–There is truth in all four perspectives

Psychologists and sociologists all agree that people can start facing differences or handling conflict well if only they manage to get beyond step 1 (I’m right and you’re wrong). Even if they only get to step 2, they at least have two perspectives to consider. It is a movement of only one step–but at times it is such a hard step to cross. Paul Watzlawick insightfully states, “The belief that one’s own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions.”

Step 4 is a tough one to tackle as well. The issue at hand may not be very important; but what if it is? What if it is not so easy to discount it? In that case, perhaps step 4 could be reworded as “this issue isn’t as important as the love we need to keep talking”, placing love (peace, unity) as the supreme issue. This step is crucial for compromise to begin.

This method is NOT equivalent to saying that we all hold different truths, and therefore we should just accept that reality and “live and let live” (i.e. affirming that truth is relative). That relativistic attitude is a cop-out of this method. This method, in fact, cannot work without a common quest from both parties to search for the truth. They must take this quest seriously enough to be willing to put much effort into figuring out the truth (they can agree on) together. In other words, truth and goodness must direct peace (unity); and love must be the beginning of the quest and the binding of the parties involved.

What a challenge for the Church…for our countries…for the Middle East…for the world! Yet, how wonderful, how complete everything will be, when this dream comes true! And how good it is to work for it…

“[..] that His glory may dwell in our land. Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.”

-Psalm 85: 9-13