On Loneliness

Loneliness must be one of the most delicate subjects and most difficult struggles to touch upon, because it reaches each one of us where we are most vulnerable; but I must say that Fr. Ron Rolheiser manages to pull this off excellently well in his book The Restless Heart.

Fr. Rolheiser has a style of writing which is very easy to read, while conveying deep spiritual insights. He repeats himself in different ways along the book, in such a way that if you didn’t catch something the first time around, you will surely catch it the second time; and this is done without being annoying. In fact, it is very enriching to follow all his examples and explanations. The book is not so long, less than 200 easy-to-read pages in length.

The book is separated into 2 parts. The first part talks about loneliness in its most obvious way: as a problem we all face. One of the key insights in this part is the fact that life in the Western world has become more lonely because of the kind of society we live in: a culture based on individual responsibility, which encourages treating each other like disposable objects, being disconnected with nature so as to control it, never having enough time, running after money, … We were not made for this.

The second part of the book offers a Christian understanding of loneliness. It explains that loneliness is not only a problem, but if considered in light of the Scriptures and the mystics, is a way for us to look for what completes us, to yearn for God, a dynamic movement towards Him. This part shows clearly that nothing on earth will ever fulfill us, and that we will remain in this state of longing until the Lord welcomes us in heaven with Him.

I would like to boldly add something to this book, if I may. The book is wonderfully written, and I think everyone should read it; it makes us understand much of the world we live in and how to consider our own loneliness. What I would like to add is this: while it is true that we will never be fully satisfied here, I think that we yearn for God in steps. Because we’re not in heaven yet, we’ll just keep on yearning for more and more…and we will keep receiving more and more. And each blessing we receive gives us a glimpse of heaven, and brings us closer and closer to God…until nothing is satisfactory but to see Him face to face. The resolution of our loneliness begins on earth.

“And all of us […] are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit.” -2 Cor. 3:18 (NRSV)

May you all move forward in loneliness, escalating from glory to glory until you reach Him!