It Is All Worth It

I wrote this poem as I was coming out of a difficult period in my life a few years ago. It was inspired by the song “Grace” by U2 (Album “All That You Can’t Leave Behind”).

It Is All Worth It Dedicated to Chris Prchal

Inspiration: “Because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.” -U2

And I remembered the knife that had cut

The day I had hung my head (and wept)

So many nights spent in different corners of void

Lost in unending and goal-less search

And I ached to the tip of my fingers in anxiety

Sulfur would have tasted better than my bitter bread

All those rocks whose dirt had soiled my soul

I could not bear to carry them anymore

And more in desperation than in hope

I had wildly flung them across my path

Shuddering as I walked over them

That my life should show it was just not worth it.

And you walk now on the path towards me

I recall the boulders that had made me so fragile

Ashamed to lift my gaze to your face

Turning to look back at the arid steps (I) (left) behind (me)

BUT the sight (behind me) catches my breath

Those rocks I had laid to rest have disappeared

Instead, mounds of rose petals grace my ancient steps

The silence surrounding becomes filled with questions

And then it dawns on me as you stand there

That my tears were for a reason

They washed clean the dried mud on my soul

The tears were worth it.

And then I understand as you stand there

That the confusion of nocturnal questions

Threw inextinguishable light on my sight

The questions were worth it.

And then I realize as you stand there

That those fearful aches from carrying the burdens

Made my arms strong and my grip firm

The anxiety was worth it.

And then I wonder as you stand there

Why I had to carry those rocks at all, now knowing their weight

I could choose to let go and dance freely

The rocks were worth it.

And all that I had despised before

Added subtle gleams of beauty to my features

Without knowing it, shame fled, I have nothing to fear

Still standing before you, I find I am new.

And you lean close and take my hand (face in your hands)

“I came to take in a bit of your fragrance.”

We walk down the path together radiantly, from the warmth of our love

All the heartaches, they were all worth it.

Hope is not foolish

It is not illusion

Nothing is ever in vain

It is all worth it.