Veracity and Christian Life
A comment on the parable of the pharisee and the publican (Lc 18, 9-14)
Part of the reflections I offer have been adapted from a text by Fr. Luis de Moya, a paraplegic priest who lives in Pamplona, Spain. In 1991 he fell asleep at the wheel and was left paralyzed from the neck down. Yet he has plenty of support and an active ministry, especially with his website Fluvium. The parable that the Church proposes this 30th Sunday of Ordinary Time in the Gospel of the Mass (year C), invites us to consider a startling example of lack of self knowledge. It is in fact in our best interest to consider ourselves alluded to here, since we want to improve by rectifying the errors that will plague us for the rest of our life. Knowing our defects is an indispensable prerequisite to be able to fight against them. Therefore it would not be bad to recognise the little pharisee that we hold within ourselves, to a greater or to a lesser degree; indeed, knowing that he is actually there will help us to fight against him and throw him out. To begin with, we are already, like him, whenever we adopt his attitude in prayer. Now we all know too well that it is good to pray, yet strangely enough, it is in the context of this defective prayer that the problem arises. It would indeed be quite a problem if we were to conclude that it is not necessary to demand any more of ourselves, or that we are already doing plenty for God. He who would think this, naturally would not ask pardon, and would not make the resolution to improve because he would not feel sorrow for his sins. Quite possibly he would spend his time in prayer simply asking for favours…
It is not infrequent to meet people who are surprised or even shocked at the suggestion that they might be able to do more. It is as though MORE were a four-letter word. There are those who think they are doing others a favour, even a favour to God himself, when they undertake an act of piety. Their faults, their omissions, their defects, all of which are seen in their daily conduct, always appear to them as thoroughly understandable; which of course is a good thing; the bad thing is that they easily forgive themselves and expect others to do so as well. The result of this mentality is that one ends up never rectifying, because one simply does not see the need to do so, especially since one would have no sorrow at all for faults committed. The traditional expression for this is “purpose of amendment”, and it only appears when there is true sorrow for sins committed. It is a sort of blessed “weight” that the soul feels for having offended God or for not having known how to really love him as he deserves.
Let us ask our Lord that he free us from this attitude that is so often with us, and really which is nothing else but a lack of authentic prayer, a lack of interest in really loving God as he deserves, and an excessive love for ourselves. For some, the concern to be a good Christian, deep down might be just that: self love and not properly speaking love of God. One ends up seeking more tranquility of conscience or wanting to feel justified or satisfied with oneself rather than seeking to love God as much as we can, with all the capacity we have–great or small–at our disposal.
The pharisee seemed to be too preoccupied with accomplishing a duty, in the strictest sense of the word. It is as though he acted correctly, but out of fear, because otherwise, he knew he’d suffer the consequences. He had a concept of God that was negative, and really rather monstrous. It was as though he was reluctantly paying a debt. He had not tapped into the fact that in God we have infinite Goodness, and hence a permanent and free occasion of development and growth. We can bloom to the measure of his love and unite ourselves to his love, loving with deeds. In that way our life will really be like God desires it to be.
After-all, what do we pretend to do with our lives? What is our life all about? What is its fundamental purpose? Am I conscious of the fact that precisely because I am human, and not merely an animal, my life is a permanent occasion to love God? This is something we do have to reflect on deeply, lest all our efforts to be a good Christian, to follow Jesus Christ, to follow the Gospel, or however you want to call it, not end up just being a a vulgar seeking out of ourselves; a pathetic short-lived song to the ME. It could be that we’d be reacting out of fear, unconsciously thinking, “well if I don’t do this, then…”
When we really want to love God honestly, we end up directing everything to him. Nothing we give him seems too much; on the contrary, any detail of generosity, even the most heroic one would appear small, even insignificant for the soul that loves. One wants to give more, for everything seems too little for what the Beloved really deserves. All the saints had this deep sense of giving generously. Saint Josemaria said it in one of the shortest points of the Way:
How little a life is to offer to God! (The Way 420)
It would never appear to be too much to offer God some detail, no matter how small it might be. On the contrary, if it is small, all the more reason not to resist offering this detail with enthusiastic vigour, even if only with the desire to thank Him. In the same way, the soul in love seeks to examine itself habitually, seeking out one detail or another, big or small, by which he might improve his conduct, for he knows that in the details, in these works, is the truth of his own love of God. That is why it is never indifferent to make a good genuflection when we enter a church, not some haphazard gyration; nor is it pedestrian to struggle to keep an orderly an orderly desk, or punctual to our appointments, or warm and kind on the phone or in the car, as long as we’re always doing it for love of God.
